THEATRE REVIEW (9/2004)

Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" -- How to Buy a Tony Award

I went to see a production of this show at the California Theater in San Bernadino on September 25, 2004. I fully expected it to match the high standard set by the 1991 film, which I consider the pinnacle of modern Disney animation.

Powered by the brilliant songwriting team of Alan Mencken and the late Howard Ashman, the animated film "Beauty and the Beast" was a masterpiece of storytelling, songwriting, music, character development, and design.

Instead, I was shocked to find myself suffering through a plodding, gag-heavy, three-hour show.

The script was littered with endless scenes which should have been cut, with situations and dialog with the clumsy, half-finished feel of the first draft of a script. The magic of the original material could not overcome the poor quality of more than 100 minutes of this badly-written filler.

The worst offenders were the new songs that were not written by Mencken and Ashman. Not one helped develop a character or advance the story. For example, to end Act 1, the Beast sings a new song about his shame, regrets, and despair -- which we, the audience, have already seen.

Had this song been placed a half-hour earlier, before we see any spark of humanity in the Beast, it would have deepened the audience's sympathy and understanding of him. Instead, it contributes nothing to the play other than a showcase for the actor's beautiful singing voice, and to add another ten minutes to the running time.

The cast and crew of the San Bernadino production bear no responsibility for the show's massive failings. In fact, they suffered more than the audience. The show's unnecessarily heavy technical and logistical requirements made for endless nightmares, which included too-massive sets, far too many scene changes, and some spectacularly lame special effects that simply did not work.

I do wish to single out Craig Woolson for giving a marvelous performance as the insufferably proper yet lovable Cogsworth. And I don't say this because he is a friend; I do because he is a fine, fine actor. He was the only element in that show that improved upon the original film.

I genuniely wish that I could have said the same for this show. Unfortunately, Disney's "Beauty and the Beast", with its amateurish, sloppy script, has instead earned its place among the worst musical theatre shows ever.

But you know ...

There is nothing in this show that a few rewrites couldn't fix.

How about it, Disney?

Give me a call. I'll give you a good deal for a fixed musical. Really!

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